


Chocobo Princess

by mystiri1



Category: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Crack, DDR, Gen, Video Game Mechanics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-29
Updated: 2010-08-29
Packaged: 2017-10-11 07:38:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/110013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mystiri1/pseuds/mystiri1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sephiroth is not impressed with Zack's latest addition to the SOLDIER Training Rooms.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chocobo Princess

“Zack, video games are not training machines. You will return them, or find the money to pay for them out of your own pocket.” Sephiroth levelled a hard look at his SIC. “Frankly, I'm disappointed that you'd waste money from the SOLDIER budget on such frivolous items. You know we've had cutbacks now that we're supposedly at peace.”

“They're not just games, Seph, it's DDR! It's an incredible workout, and – it improves your balance, and reflexes, and probably a bunch of other stuff, too!” Zack pulled out the puppy eyes, but the silver-haired General was a much harder sell than his mentor had ever been.

“It's a video game. The Training Budget is for training, not entertainment.”

“You haven't even tried them,” Zack accused. “You just took one look and decided that I was fooling around again.” The betrayed tone made more headway than the puppy eyes. Zack could see the barest hint of a waver, and pressed his advantage. “Just try them. And if you don't think they're a good workout, then I'll pay for two of them to be installed in the Rec Room, and send the others back.”

“Very well,” Sephiroth agreed.

* * * * *

  
Zack discovered he was right in that Sephiroth had no idea what DDR actually entailed. He was surprised to find that two people could compete against each other, for a start. But he was still coolly dismissive going into the first round.

By round two, Zack had discovered two things. One, that Sephiroth's super-fast reflexes weren't always an asset, and two, that Sephiroth had no sense of rhythm whatsoever. It appeared that music had never been included anywhere in his odd education.

He reacted to every command as soon as it appeared. Even once he caught on that he needed to wait for the right moment to hit the pads, his inability to figure out the music meant he still missed the timing on most moves.

By round three, Zack had a huge lead. He was grinning and breathing hard as the words, 'You win!' appeared on his screen. 'You are chocobo princess! Your grace wins feathers!'

The victory sequence was a little bizarre – what looked like overweight chocobos doing some kind of cheer-leading routine while spouting strange compliments about his skills. Zack just figured the translations were weird – they were made by some company in Wutai, who'd only recently begun exporting them. The highest ranking was golden chocobo emperor, which kind of made sense – if he squinted at it sideways.

“Epic fail?” The words drew his attention to his superior officer, who was staring at his own screen with an expression of shock. Zack peered over to see a cactuar bouncing mockingly back and forth, while words scrolled up the screen. 'You suck! You have more left feet than drunken crysales! Tonberries laugh at you!'

The look of shock turned to outrage as the taunts continued. Zack glanced back at his own machine to see he was now being informed that 'All bow to your big feet'. “So are you willing to admit it's a decent workout now?”

But Sephiroth was already pushing buttons to start a new contest, this time against the computer. Zack took in the narrow-eyed glare as he punched in his selection, and remembered, belatedly, that Sephiroth hated to fail at anything.

After a moment, he shrugged. At least it looked like the DDR machines weren't going anywhere.

Not until Sephiroth claimed victory over them, anyway.


End file.
